Islamonline.net

US Muslims Battle Domestic Violence

By Farah Akbar, Islamonline.net Correspondent

Sakhi provides legal information, mental health referrals and shelter resources to women who seek help.

NEW YORK — Shazia (not her real name) may be struggling financially to support herself and her two young children, but she is hopeful about the future and feels better after having left her abusive husband.
“I didn’t want my children to suffer and watch me get abused,” the American Muslim woman told IslamOnline.net.
After getting the emotional support she desperately needed, she got the courage to stand up for herself and turn a new leaf in life.
“I am free now.”
A recent survey by the North American Council for Muslim Women found that domestic violence occurred in about 10 percent of Muslim homes.
“These women fear the stigma of divorce,” notes Mohammed Alam of Sakhi, an organization that helps Muslim women of South Asian origin in New York City who suffer from domestic violence.
“They are concerned about what the community will think of them."
Sakhi provides legal information, mental health referrals and shelter resources to women who seek help.
Immigrant women who cannot speak English can comfortably explain their situation to Sakhi as they are staffed with individuals fluent in several South Asian languages.
Alia (not her real name) has also left her abusive husband and found happiness again.
“There is life beyond the abuse,” she advises women currently in abusive relationships.
“Don’t worry about anything. Just get your life back! Get your personality back. If you take the first step, everything will fall into place.”
According to studies, Americans Muslims, estimated at some seven millions, have nearly the same rate of domestic violence as the general population.
Approximately 1.3 million women are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States.
Momentum

“You would have to conclude that many mosques underestimate the frequency of domestic violence,” says Bashir (C).

Muslim groups believe the fight against domestic violence has seen a momentum lately.
“More Muslim women are speaking out," Robina Niaz, founder of the Turning Point organization, told IOL.
"Community outreach and education are also contributing to breaking the silence around this issue,” added Niaz, a Pakistani Muslim.
Turning Point received 600 calls for assistance and information in 2007, more than double the number received the year before.
The organization is designed to specifically help Muslim women and their families.
It provides crisis intervention, individual counseling and numerous other services to benefit women and families.
Alam, of Sakhi, also believes that efforts to address domestic violence are making impressive strides.
He said the number of callers to his organization has tripled over the years, with a record number of 731 calls and emails in 2008.
“More women feel comfortable talking about domestic abuse.”
Many argue that the case of Aasiya Hassan, a mother of four killed by her husband last February, was a wake-up call to the Muslim community.
Many Muslim organizations and mosques immediately condemned her tragic death and pledged to step up efforts to combat domestic violence.
The Islamic Center of North America (ICNA) promised a campaign to raise awareness about domestic violence.
Mosques Role
But some women rights advocates say mosques are not doing enough to help battle domestic violence.
“Many mosques are often in denial about domestic violence,” charges Niaz.
“Often when women find the courage to seek help they are told to be patient and encouraged to keep families together."
She says only few imams in New York City have been referring women to her Turning Point organization.
Shaykh Bashir, founder of the House of Peace (HOP), another social service organization that provides services to Muslims about domestic violence, is equally critical of mosques’ role.
“You would have to conclude that many mosques underestimate the frequency of domestic violence,” he says.
But Imam Abu Zafar Beg, of the Jamaica Muslim Center in Queens, disagrees with both activists.
Beg insists that in his mosque, for example, women receive help when they approach him about domestic violence.
“When couples come, we do try to help them reconcile. We tell the husbands that they must be kind to their wives."
Other mosque imams address the issue of domestic violence in their weekly Friday prayer sermons.
"But it is not in our power to give men punishment," says Beg.
Bashir, the HOP founder, believes that couples should undergo a course on peaceful conflict resolution before tying the knot.
But most importantly, he maintains, is that “more men must step-up and be accountable for the violence they perpetrate against women and children.” what is this?